No, there is no actual chart. It’s not like I have a list pinned up somewhere with the headline “Worst Lyrics Ever” that i regularly update. You’ve heard the Song “Sexy Bitch” by David Guetta and featuring Akon. If you haven’t check out the vid below. I hear it every day, at least four or five times. This is because someone in the store next door to our office likes it. A lot. Unfortunately A-rod’s pronunciation isn’t great, and the only line I can clearly make out is this one:

“I’m tryna find the words to describe this girl
Without being disrespectful”

OK, come now. I get that the lyrics aren’t really important and that this tune is purely a club jam. No-one cares about the lyrics, they just wanna get their groove on. But that clearly isn’t the case because people are hearing it in other circumstances, just like me. And it’s down right insulting.Insulting because the large number of people who worked on this track, who were involved in taking it from concept to finished product, not one of them stopped, looked at that line and thought “If I tried for about two minutes, I could probably come up with something better. Hell, if I tried for three it might even rhyme with the previous lyric!”

Instead, this piece of halfhearted apathy made it onto the final cut, and we have to be bombarded with Akon’s lament that he, a so-called artist, is so blown away by this woman that instead of pouring his passion into his work, he’s just gonna tell us all he has writer’s block.

“Hey everybody, there’s this girl and she’s so beautiful, that the only way I can describe her would demean her beauty, because all the adjectives I have at my disposal are derogatory. So instead, I’m going to sing about how kak I am at songwriting.”

You can read the full song sheet here, but it doesn’t get any better. ‘Sexy Bitch’. The apathy clearly also spread to the title. The irony is that he she ended up getting disrespected anyway. I get that some songs have bad lyrics, the law of averages demands it. But this doesn’t strike me as an oversight or a mistake, or even a poor attempt. It just looks like no attempt at all. The team who helped create this clearly thought it was good enough for their audience, and sadly, they were right.

I can’t find the words to describe how terrible I think this is without being facetious.